The Natural Death Centre argues in favour of dying at home. But sometimes, as in this instance, dying in a hospice would be more appropriate. Summarised from an article in the Independent (June '97) entitled 'Building from grief' by Jack O'Sullivan.
Hilary Holden's daughter Joanne was sent home from hospital to die. Soon, Mrs Holden found herself caring for both her daughter and her husband Glyn - the latter terminally ill with prostate cancer.
Out of that double tragedy, Mrs Holden has helped create two hospices, one for adults and now one for children, the Clare House Children's Hospice in Liverpool.
She says: "I would have preferred Joanne to have spent her last few months in this sort of hospice, rather than at home. Had she been there, Glyn and I could have stayed with her and she would have been nursed professionally by experienced people. When you are at home, you are constantly worrying have you done this or that. If something goes wrong, you have to get the doctor out. In a hospice, specialist staff are ready and waiting to help night and day.
"A hospice is also better than a hospital. It's terribly depressing for parents, once they know their child is not going to get better. Their child is on a ward with other children who are getting well and leaving. In a hospice, you are all in the same boat, with sick children who are not going to get well."
In Clare House, children will have individual rooms, they can bring in their own posters, and each room will have a patio. Each family will have a separate table in the dining room and parents and siblings can stay the night.
There will be a 'multi-sensory' room with flowing water for relaxation; and a refrigerated room, called the snowflake room, for when the child has died. Off the snowflake room will be a place for the parents to stay for a few days if they need, leading to a private walled garden.
Clare House Children's Hospice Appeal, 19 Castle Street, Liverpool L2 4SX (tel 0151 236 6524).
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