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Magic Circle to enhance children's self-esteem |
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Research has shown a strong link between a child's self-esteem and his or her academic success; children who feel good about themselves learn more easily and retain information longer. In fact, they do better in every way: if they have a sense of well-being they are much more likely to be able to handle the ups and downs of daily life, including prejudice, abuse, addiction, delinquency and violence.
With this in mind I instituted Circletime for every class in this junior school in 1988. Previous to this, for several years I had been taking classes and groups and spending time discussing behaviour, exploring feelings and playing games, with pleasing results. Staff had commented on the changes the activities had brought about in the children, both individually and collectively. One said, 'My class doesn't like playing yours (addressed to the class teacher) at rounders. They always win. Your class seem to be able to work together so much better.'
I ask all the teachers to begin Circletime each day with the class sitting on the floor in a circle. If possible the teacher will be sitting first, waiting for the circle to form and able to greet each child individually on arrival. Before the register, the day begins with a round. The teacher says an incomplete sentence, gives an example to finish it off, then the child next to her repeats the phrase and puts his or her own ending on it, and so on. It has several purposes. It is a re-establishment of the group, an important joining together into a class. Children can 'pass' if they wish, but few do.
'The teacher says an incomplete sentence, gives an example to finish it off, then the child next to her repeats the phrase and puts his or her own ending on it'Even in a large class the level of listening to others is clearly high. Some enjoy the chance to be really imaginative and direct in their answers. Many quickly recognise it as a safe environment where they can really say what they are thinking. 'Today I'm feeling ... nervous' said a seven year old, two weeks into term. 'I wish I was with ... my father, if I knew where he was,' admitted a shy 11 year old girl. Sensitive teachers will hear these and respond appropriately later.
Our rounds are about all sorts of things. 'What makes me laugh is ...' Even a round where a child chooses a fruit she would like to be, often reveals much. For the children, self-disclosure in these rounds by the teacher is valuable too. Rounds also help the retiring child to feel included. At the beginning of the term lots of activities are centred on getting to know each other and on the creation of a close warm class identity.
After registration and the opportunity to share with everyone anything that has happened during the time children have been apart, comes the selection of the Special Child for the day. This is universally popular with the children and I would guess for many of them is an unusual experience.
Selection was first made by balloon popping. Balloons were blown up, each child put her name on paper inside one, and they were hung from the ceiling. Each day one balloon was popped and whoever's name appeared was 'Child' for the day. After every child had had a turn another method - riddles - was used, so that each had two special days in the term. Its importance in the children's lives was evident. On the second time round, one nine year old boy said 'It's Wednesday today and it was Wednesday last time I was chosen.' Others chimed in to remember the days of the week when it was their turn.
'The Special Child will be asked to leave the room while a discussion takes place about all the nice things that can be said about her'There is considerable opportunity for variation of the procedure but the principles of specialness are clear. First the child is presented (often by yesterday's holder) with a badge. In our case it was made of cardboard on string, but on one side it says 'I am Special' and on the other side 'I'm great' or something similar. Then she will be asked to leave the room while a discussion takes place about all the nice things that can be said about her (it is a real delight to me to see smiling children outside doors waiting to be called back) or alternatively she would immediately begin to ask children who volunteered by raising hands to make their comments.
There are always plenty of contributions and the vast majority are genuine. The children receive them with quiet pleasure. Some make real discoveries. One 11 year old boy was told by others that they admired his ability to deal calmly with other pupils' aggression. The next day the group was discussing 'feeling' words and he suggested 'surprised.' When asked to elaborate he said he had been surprised to find out how much he was liked. He appears to have gained a lot of confidence and joins in discussions much more freely.
Faced with a barrage of compliments it can be difficult to remember or even believe them. It is important to get the children to preface their remarks with phrases like 'I think you ...' or 'I believe that you ...' In this way the recipient accepts it as an opinion and cannot contradict it. Teachers record the comments while they are being said and the sheet is presented to the child.
Also, the child is asked to tell the class which comments mean most to them. 'You are nice to be with' is always a favourite. This part of the ceremony ends with the child being asked to name and tell us one thing about herself of which she is pleased, perhaps proud. It often causes difficulty and here we see the measure of low self-esteem. I shall always remember the capable 11 year old girl who eventually said in a low voice 'I am good at maths' and then in a whisper added 'sometimes.'
Part of the fun of Circletime is that the Special Child is asked if he or she wants to be called by another name for the day. Nicknames used among friends become universally accepted and other children take bigger risks and choose their popular heroes and heroines. Special children are also given, or can claim, other privileges. One very popular one is to elect to sit on a chair in front of assembly; this means the whole school will acknowledge that they are special. The Special Child also chooses the game for the day. A repertoire of games has been built up and incorporated in Circletime. These again have many purposes. One is to act as 'energy raisers.' They are useful at other times as well.
There are three rules in Circletime: only one person speaks at a time; everyone can have fun; no one is to spoil anyone else's fun. It is a time when the children find out a bit more about themselves and what they are capable of and how they relate to each other. There are lots of serious, lively discussions where feelings are discovered, explored and accepted. The children come to realise that if they understand themselves it will help them better to understand others. The value of co-operation and friendship is examined and emphasised using practical exercises.
At least twice a week in Circletime each class splits into groups of three. This is the children's opportunity to talk and be listened to, where they will get close attention from peers to form and exchange ideas and opinions which are then brought back to the big group for an airing.
Of course, arguments, quarrels and other unpleasant situations still abound in school as children follow their old patterns of behaviour in getting their needs met, but there is a growing awareness that there are alternatives. I believe children flourish when in an environment structured by definite controlled limits, but within these they must be encouraged to become responsible for their own decisions and helped to achieve autonomy. Self-esteem develops when children have a basis for evaluating present performance and making comparisons with earlier behaviour and attitudes.
Various sanctions and punishments are used but it is important that these do not harm the child's self-concept. It is essential to differentiate between the doer and the deed. 'I like you but cannot accept your behaviour.'
Recently, two 11 year old boys, not generally known for their community spirit or for their need to tell me anything, told me quite casually in their classroom how they had approached two younger boys in the playground who they knew were frightened of them and said 'OK, we'll be your friends.' Another boy with a reputation for aggression had gone out of his way to make friends with a first year child.
Towards the end of term the emphasis switched to goal-setting and achieving targets. Children were asked to think of small specific targets - things which they thought desirable for them to do or to learn to do, either at home or school - or to keep a daily record. By encouragement from everyone and the use of simple will exercises, the children were helped to realise how they can achieve their potential.
Visitors to Circletime have been numerous and, sitting on the floor in the circle, are readily accepted by the children. Also the children were happy for a video to be made of parts of it, sponsored by the Artemis Trust.
Other activities included taking photographs of every child and displaying them in the entrance hall for all to admire and the making of booklets called 'All About Me.' They have all been aimed at enhancing self-esteem.
Jenny Mosley, one of the first to apply the circle time approach in British classrooms and author of Turn Your School Round, maintains that the technique is useful to pupils both socially and academically. It can also be justified in terms of classroom time since it addresses specific requirements in the National Curriculum for English, enhancing listening skills and the ability to speak thoughtfully and coherently.
The importance of self-esteem is stated very eloquently by Dorothy Corkille Briggs in her book 'Your Child's Self-Esteem' (Doubleday 1970):
'A person's judgement of self influences the kinds of friends he chooses, how he gets along with others, the kind of person he marries, and how productive he will be. It affects his creativity, integrity, stability and even whether he will be a leader or a follower. His feeling of self-worth forms the core of his personality and determines the use he makes of his aptitudes and abilities. His attitude toward himself has a direct bearing on how he lives all parts of his life. In fact, self-esteem is the mainspring that slates each of us for success or failure as a human being.'
'A person's judgement of self influences the kinds of friends he chooses, how he gets along with others, the kind of person he marries, and how productive he will be'
'Magic Circles - the Benefits of Circle Time', an account of the enthusiastic reaction of children and teachers who have taken part in this project, and details of workshops and publications describing the procedure are available from: Murray White, 5 Ferry Path, Cambridge, CB4 1HB. In a letter, White reports that "Circle Times are happening in an ever increasing number of classrooms", and that another book and a training video devoted to the idea are in preparation.
On the other hand: Feeling bad about feeling goodSummarised from an article by Sharon Parker, entitled 'The Feel-Good Follies', in Utne Reader (Nov '96; subscribe or donate to Utne Reader magazine by going to their website at www.utne.com/subscribe/gifts/friends or by calling (01) 800 736 UTNE).
Other research complicates this rosy picture, and suggests not only that we need to complicate our understanding of what self-esteem is - and indeed, that a blind self-regard, heedless of actual realties, may have positively harmful consequences. Charles J. Sykes, for instance, argues in his Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American children feel good about themselves but can't read, write or add (St. Martin's, 1995), that the anxious cosseting of American children has made them complacent. He cites research showing an inverse relationship between academic achievement and self perception, noting "American students who rank last in international comparisons of math abilities, for instance, rank first when they're asked how they feel about their math abilities."
One study, fulminating against the therapeutic culture of contemporary America, brandished evidence that gang members often have an exorbitant self-regard which they feel licenses their delinquency. Should we, then, return to the kind of 'character-building' assaults on our children's self-esteem popular with the Victorians? ("Speak roughly to your little child, and smack him when he sneezes...".)
Other studies point, rather, to the need for a more nuanced understanding of what self-esteem actually is. Are we really right to equate the egotism of the gang member with 'self-esteem'? Matthew Ramadan, a consultant to the Minnesota Corrections Department, argues that attitudes of young black men in prison are strongly affected by their belief that they won't live to be 25. "it's not self-esteem; it's hopelessness. I agree that there are people out there with the attitude that I can do anything I want because the world owes me something. But that's not high self-esteem, it's low self-esteem."
Occupying persuasive middle ground, psychologist Martin E. Seligman, author of The Optimistic Child (Harper Perennial, 1996), suggests we could do well to look back to the origins of the term. He traces its usage back to William James, who defined it as awareness that our successes equal or exceed our pretensions - drawing a connection between our self-opinion and our actions, which has rather been dissolved in succeeding generations of reassuring psychobabble. What we need, it seems, is to feel good about our actions - just 'feeling good' whatever amounts to blinding oneself to reality.
These extracts are taken from an article by Murray White in the Times Educational Supplement. When it was written he was headmaster of Kings Hedges Junior School, Cambridge. He now runs Esteem Workshops, introducing these techniques in schools all over the UK. He is also the British representative on the International Council for Self Esteem.
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| See also 'Promoting Self Esteem. |
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