Divorce ceremonies
The book 'Celebrating Life' edited by Andrew Hill, published by The Lindsey Press, 1993, £15-50 incl. p&p, is available from The General Assembly of Unitarian and Free Christian Churches, Essex Hall, 1-6 Essex St, Strand, London WC2R 3HY (tel 020 7 240 2384; fax 020 7 240 3089).
The Unitarian Church are very imaginative in the ways that they conduct flexible and non-dogmatic ceremonies, for Christian believers and others. This book gathers together their special services for marriages, births, funerals, communions and baptism. Readers can then select from the choice of short texts within each section whatever suits their philosophies, with quotes from Roman and Greek philosophers, Eastern religions and Western poets to more orthodox passages from the bible and from mystical writings.
Two innovative sections of the book cover same-sex marriages and ceremonies recognising the end of a marriage. For instance, here is one version of a divorce ceremony:
Minister: After much effort, pain and anger ...... and ...... have decided that they no longer wish to be husband and wife. They still wish to be friends and to respect each other and to care about each other. They are now and will continue to be responsible parents of their children.
'I confess to God and to you that I have hurt you and caused you pain, and that I have not been able to fulfill my marriage promise to you'
Man: confess to God and to you ...... that I have hurt you and caused you pain, and that I have not been able to fulfill my marriage promise to you. I ask your forgiveness and the forgiveness of God.
Woman: ...... I forgive you. May God also forgive you.
I confess to God and to you ...... that I have hurt you and caused you pain, and that I have not been able to fulfill my marriage promise to you. I ask your forgiveness and the forgiveness of God.
Man: ...... I forgive you. May God also forgive you.
Readings and homily may be introduced as appropriate.
'You are now a free person and may marry again if you wish. May you find peace and happiness'
Man: ...... I release you from your promise to be loyal to me as my wife. I will continue to respect and care for you as a person, [and] to be your friend [and to be a responsible parent to our children]. You are now a free person and may marry again if you wish. May you find peace and happiness.
Woman: ...... I release you from your promise to be loyal to me as my husband. I will continue to respect and care for you as a person, [and] to be your friend [and to be a responsible parent to our children]. You are now a free person and may marry again if you wish. May you find peace and happiness.
The man and woman greet one another in an appropriate way.
Minister: It is to peace that God has called you.
...... and ...... we your families and friends, [as well as the law of the land], now recognise that your marriage is ended and that you are separate and independent people.
May God bless your separate lives and homes.
We pray for all people in relationship that they may honour and respect each other and treat one another with dignity. Where marriages are happy may there be renewal and enrichment for the common life. Where marriages are in turmoil and bondage may there be comfort and support. Where marriages have waned of love may there be resolution with the least of conflict and misunderstanding.
'May they continue to honour and respect one another in their separate and independent lives'
We pray for ...... and ...... at this time of their parting. May they willingly accept those parts of their lives when they lived as husband and wife, and may they remember gratefully the good times together. May they continue to honour and respect one another in their separate and independent lives and may they find appropriate peace and happiness.
We pray for all people and all llfe in whatever condition. May every living being, forgetting none, be at peace. Amen.
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