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Pagan rituals and prayers

The Pagan Book of Living and Dying by Starhawk, M. Macha NightMare and the Reclaiming Collective, published by Harper Collins (San Francisco; ISBN 0 06 251516 0; 352 pages; $24). Reviewed by Nicholas Albery.

Much of this spiritual guidebook will seem too esoteric for non-pagans, but there remain a number of stories, rituals and prayers within it that will move those of other faiths and that could be adapted for their own ceremonies.

Prayer for the one who is dying

Take for instance this prayer for the one who is dying or already dead, entitled 'Carry Only Love':

Beloved one, you are dying [dead],

but you are not alone.

We are here with you,

the beloved dead await you.

You go from love

into love.

Carry with you

only love

May our love carry you

and open the way.

I cannot imagine any of the religions objecting to this.

Prayer for one who has had a miscarriage

And I was very touched by the following prayer, for a person who has suffered a miscarriage or stillbirth or infant death:

Mother of life,

Mother of death,

here is a spirit so new

that the gates of life and death

are just an archway in her dancing ground.

She has danced her way back to you.

Her passage is easy

but mine is hard.

I wanted to hold her living flesh

and feel her soft breath and her heartbeat.

(I nurtured her in my body;

I would have fed her from my breasts.)

I would have cared for her

and watched her first steps

and listened for her voice.

No other child that may come to me

will ever be what she would have been.

Nothing, nobody, will ever replace her.

Whatever healing I may find,

this loss will always be a part of me.

(Bless my womb, which has the power

to create life and death.)

Bless my arms

that would have embraced her.

Bless my hands that would have lifted her.

Bless my heart that grieves.

'This is extraordinarily powerful poetry, the writer a Cranmer for our times, creating a new 20th century missal'

This is extraordinarily powerful poetry, the writer a Cranmer for our times, creating a new 20th century missal - would that the Church of England had employed someone with her strength of vision when drawing up its dismal Alternative Prayer Book.

Prayer for one assisting someone to die

I believe that for society to permit euthanasia is too big a risk, but the book's prayer for assisting someone to die almost convinces me otherwise. It begins:

Goddess of death,

I stand here as your priest/ess

knowing that life must be winnowed

to thrive.

This is a holy act I perform:

to open a gateway

for a willing one

to come to you.

This is an act of healing,

a release from suffering,

an end to pain.

Here is one whose arms are open

to embrace you ...

'Always keep your bags packed!'

As in the Bible, there are many stories or parables in this manual, to remind one of elemental truths. I appreciated, for instance, Minerva Earthschild's account of her friend Craig's death from a stroke:

"The most profound teaching," she writes, "from the experience of sudden death, for the survivors, for each one of us, is that it gives us no time for finishing business, for saying goodbyes.

"After hearing of Craig's death, one friend of mine attached a note to my front door. It read simply, 'Always keep your bags packed!' I kept this note taped to my kitchen cabinet for weeks ... When we carry with us the awareness that death may come in this way, we become present fully in the moment. The knowledge that a sudden death may await each one of us challenges us to live life so fully and with such awareness that we are always prepared for death to come."

Invoking the names of the dead

The authors are surely right too to stress the importance of remembering the dead within the community. M. Macha NightMare writes how she goes through local obituary columns extracting the names and stories of those who have died. She intersperses these with the names of 'ordinary folk' who have asked to be included (in response to her newsletters and posters and flyers, people leave names that they would like included on her answering machine - some even leave the names of their pets). Then, in an annual Samhain circle, as she describes it:

'She goes through local obituary columns extracting the names and stories of those who have died'

"I take a deep breath and walk into the centre. I begin with more general words of honour and invocation, talking about why and how very much we want these souls present. Then I begin to call the names - not too fast, and as carefully and accurately as I can ... People often wail or cry quietly ... they have even told me that the moment I called their beloved dead was the single most moving part of the ritual for them ... This feedback convinces me that the work I have done in evolving this rite for communal grieving is valuable."

Libraries should definitely make this book available to their communities, so that readers can pick and choose from the bits within it that inspire them. It should also be required reading for priests and ministers in their training colleges, so as to soften the masculinity of their theology.


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