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Rituals for Remarkable Times (funeral designing)

Anja Saunders

The Natural Death Centre recommends London-based Anja Saunders to any family wanting to design an extraordinary and imaginative funeral - or rituals for any other occasions between birth and death. Here she describes her approach.

All cultures in all times have created rituals and ceremonies to mark times of importance. Death is probably the most remarkable rite of passage, the most important ceremony. When a loved one has left us, it is essential to have the kind of funeral or memorial service that supports the ones left behind in their grieving process. The ceremony can take many shapes and forms but is always unique and individual since the people involved, including the person that died, are unique individuals.

The ingredients of a ritual are:

  • a sacred intention

  • a carefully prepared set and setting

  • a selected group of people present and witnessing

  • conscious actions

  • a chosen order of events

  • a thanksgiving

    This requires a sensitive preparation time and I offer help with this.

    Times of death are always distressing. Emotions are often deep and intense. I consider it of utmost importance to use this time to connect with our beloved departed and not to be distracted by impersonal organisations.

    In the last ten years I have lost my mother, sister, baby and husband through death. I know the importance of an appropriate ritual and funeral and the need to have space to keep feeling throughout the process.

    I was involved in the performing arts for ten years and in the field of healing for the subsequent ten years.

    I have no attachment to a particular religious belief, although I have faith that the spirit continues after death.

    I can provide consultations, in which we can talk through the elements of an appropriate ritual and I can help you to design a ceremony that would suit your needs.

    'A simple prayer or a complete fireworks display'

    For instance:

  • would you like the ceremony to be on a beach or in a wood or in the city?

  • with bells or with prayer flags or as plain as possible?

  • would it include poems or songs?

  • or dancing or masks?

  • would you prefer just a simple prayer or a complete fireworks display?

  • would your friends want to come dressed up or would you prefer it simple and natural?

  • would you prefer an appointed mistress of ceremonies or a free time with people chipping in spontaneously?

    In the past, we have had ceremonies where people painted the coffin, set wishing balloons off in the air, communally dug an egg-shaped grave, blew thousands of bubbles to lift the spirit and constructed an ampitheatre in the middle of a field. We've had chanting and toning, storytelling, bell ringing, labyrinths and massage for afterwards - we'd be happy to help you stretch your imagination in whatever way appeals to you.

    Anja Saunders, Rituals for Remarkable Times, 14 Neal's Yard, London WC2H 9DP (tel 0171 836 9404; e-mail: anja@ndirect.co.uk).

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