Philipa's green & final journey

From an article which the Natural Death Centre has been permitted to reuse.

In the early hours of September 7th '97 my dear friend the author Philipa Pullar died. Her death, although very sad, has been both an enriching and profound experience for me. Through participating in Philipa's dignified, peaceful exit from this world, I hope I can help others, by giving an account of how her family and friends prepared for her death and carried out her wishes to have a green burial.

She had been diagnosed with lung cancer at the beginning of July and decided that she would do everything in her power to help her body heal itself without drugs. For this she had full support and encouragement from her sympathetic homeopath Dr. Siegfried Trefzer. As a practitioner of both aromatherapy and reflexology, I was able to give Philipa treatments right up until a few hours before she died. Some days she would prefer a gentle foot massage and I would pay particular attention to her respiratory reflexes to help release excess phlegm and relax the airways, the digestive system to try to keep the bowels open and lymphatics to help her body rid itself of toxic buildup. Other days she would ask for a back and chest massage with essential oils to aid her laboured breathing. She found great comfort in being massaged and was always in a more relaxed state both physically and mentally after a treatment.

Philipa was an extremely open-minded, spiritual woman, and had achieved a great deal in her life. She was the author of several books, a practising member of the National Federation of Spiritual Healers, a counsellor and hosted a weekly meditation group that I eagerly attended. Philippa was determined not to die hospitalised and we all did what we could to make sure she was as comfortable as possible. She managed to convey to us no terrible embarrassment or fear about dying and there was a pervading atmosphere of love and tranquillity permeating her house. The day before she died, she proofread her dissertation on Mysticism in the Ancient Egyptian Pyramid Texts as part of her MA at Kent University, correcting and altering her work with her mind as sharp as a razor. She was absolutely determined to finish it, despite every breath depleting her of what little energy she had left.

Four days before she died, Philipa asked me to act as a witness to the signing of her Will. She also asked me to make sure that she was given a green burial. At that time I was unsure what that meant or entailed, but after speaking to her son Sebastian, I discovered that she wanted to be buried in a cardboard coffin and in a place of great natural beauty.

After her death, Sebastian made contact with the Natural Death Centre to whom Philipa was attached as one of several Spiritual Healers on their list. They gave him all the help and information he needed to find a cardboard coffin supplier, an embalming service and details of around 70 specially designated sites dotted around the UK where anyone can be buried or their ashes interred whatever their religious beliefs. These sites are often on the land of farm owners who want to be able to preserve it as environmentally friendly woodland, fruit orchards, wild flower meadow, etc. There is a fee for the burial plot and a grave-digging service is available. Often a tree is planted at the head of the grave as a way of encouraging growth of new copses or woodland.

Sebastian earmarked two possible sites that he thought Philipa would like as a final resting place and set off to find and view them. The first was in West Wales, but after an arduous journey to reach it, he felt that it was too inaccessible and unfamiliar. The kind landowner then drove him to the other site outside Ludlow in Shropshire where he knew instinctively that this was the place Philipa would be at peace. It was a lush green valley, full of bird chatter and animal life - Philipa was passionate about animals especially cats and frogs. Ann Dyer, the landowner, has an ancient orchard there that she plans to replant with memorial apple trees whose species are under threat. She has offered the orchard for private burials. There was also the added advantage of the use of the Dyer Victorian family chapel that actually stands at the edge of the apple orchard where we could hold Philipa's Celebration of Life service. Arrangements were made for the service and burial to take place on Sunday, September 14th.

About 25 family and friends wanted to go to the Craven Arms burial ground to say their final goodbyes to Philipa. The next thing to organise was how to get them and Philipa's body there. We came to the conclusion that hiring a coach would be the most convenient and economic way. I was entrusted with the task of ringing around various coach companies to find somebody who was prepared to drive 25 seated passengers plus Philipa in her cardboard coffin in the luggage hold underneath. As you can imagine, on explaining our requirements, there were some very strange reactions to my request. Most of the large companies were negative in their response, with mutterings about the Health & Safety Act, but eventually I did find an extremely amenable coach owner and driver who was prepared to transport us all there and back for £500.

Two days before the final journey, we set about hand-painting Philipa's cardboard coffin with Egyptian symbols in shades of blue, terracotta, sand and gold. It looked beautiful when finished - she would have loved it. We decided that fabric was necessary to line the inside of the coffin and I offered a roll of cream muslin that I had tucked away in my sewing hamper.

Sunday, September 14th dawned bright and clear and we had been asked to gather at Philipa's house for a prompt departure at 8.30am. It was a day of anticipation and to some extent an adventure, as no one had been involved in anything like this before. Sebastian requested us to bring a contribution for a picnic which we would hold in the apple orchard, after the burial had finished. The journey was plain sailing until we turned off the main road. The lanes were twisty and single track - no mean feat for our driver to manipulate a 52 seater coach along, let alone having to face any oncoming traffic! Twenty minutes later we all breathed a sigh of relief as our destination came into view and we saw Ann Dyer waiting patiently to welcome us.

We set about decorating the Chapel with flowers and candles in preparation for our Service. Philipa's coffin was laid out in front of the altar with an amethyst crystal and her handmade drum placed on top of the coffin. The service was almost spontaneous with everyone taking part - there was chanting, prayers, remembrances, poetry, Irish flute music, Bible reading, a song especially composed and sung for Philipa, a period of contemplation and meditation - a wonderful mixture of happiness, sadness, smiles and tears as we all remembered dear Philipa.

The coffin was then carried slowly across the orchard to the prepared grave. Bay leaf branches and rosemary sprigs were strewn over the bottom of the pit and then Philipa in all her splendour was lowered gently into the grave. We tossed in a handful of earth each and some of the flowers, final prayers were said and then we started to shovel the soil carefully back into the grave. The job was completed for us with the help of a tipper truck.

The picnic in the orchard had to be abandoned as we knew the coach driver had the prospect of another five hour drive ahead of him to get us back to London. In many ways the mental and physical toll on us all had begun to tell, and in a thoughtful and reflective mood, we rather quietly ate our picnic on the coach.

I recorded the whole day on camera and have presented Philipa's Green & Final Journey to Sebastian in an album for posterity. Through her death I have been shown that there are many ways that individuals can plan their departure from this life. We must not forget that death is part of life. Everyone involved with Philipa's final journey agrees that this has helped them with their own personal grieving process.

Many thanks Philipa for letting me share a part of your life and death.