Summarised
from a review by John Fortunato in Death Studies (March 1998; published by Taylor
and Francis, ISSN 0748 1187) of the book Life
to Death: Harmonizing the Transition, by Richard W. Boerstler & Hulen S.
Kornfeld (Inner Traditions, PO Box 388, Rochester, VT 05767, USA, tel 800 246
8648; 240 pp; ISBN 0 89281 329 6; $14.95)
Comeditation is a simple yet powerful way to assist a dying person on her or his spiritual ppath during the last leg of life's journey. Its aim, like most meditative processes used in care of the dying, is to help terminally ill people manage their anxiety, fear, confusion, and pain as they pass through this once-in-a-lifetime event and, if possible, to make their dying a positive, spirit-filled passage.
What probably will be new and useful to most Western readers is the diadic nature of comeditation. Rather than two people simply meditating together, comeditation involves the assistant (helper) actually giving voice to sounds and meaningful spiritual phrases chosen by and on behalf of the recipient (the person being helped). The person being helped simply breathes. This is intended to create an empathic bond between assistant and recipient that hopefully leaves the afflicted person feeling 'held', and to help him or her relax without the feelings of isolation and loneliness which often accompany people new to meditation.
The technique of comeditation, though focused on the ailing person, is intended also to be helpful in comforting the helper through such emotionally unsettling times. Having something practical and concrete to do ooften helps helpers overcome the common and often unbearable sense of helplessness experienced as they accompany loved ones to the ends of their lives on earth.
The technique of comeditation presented in this book is pan-religious. While its roots are found in Tibetan Buddhism, using the technique does not lead to cultural discomfort for non-Buddhists.
I decided to attempt comeditation with one of my religious brothers dying of liver cancer. Both of us are Christian; both are Benedictine monks. We have found the technique simple, effective, and easy to enter into. It has been a wonderful, intimate way for us to become centred, peaceful, and calm in the midst of the vicissitudes of my brother's grave illness. As the book predicts, we both have felt more deeply affirmed in our Christian faith, even though there is nothing about the structure of comeditation that is explicitly Christian. The practice of comeditation presented here has helped bring both of us closer to our own sspiritual home (as well as to each other). My brother in religion has also reported a substantial alleviation of his normal moments of despair and periods of physical discomfort and pain that his medicines do not ease.
Richard Boerstler, Associates in Thanatology, 115 Blue Rock Road, South Yarmouth, Mass 02664, USA (tel 508 394 6520; web: www.intergens.com/boerstler.html). Boerstler provides instruction without charge to those who are sick and to families where someone has a terminal illness.
See also his articles "Comeditation: a Thanatological Aid " - in the International Journal of Yoga Therapy (issue 10 - 2000) and "A holistic and meditative approach to the dying process" - in the Journal of Personal and Interpersonal Loss (issue 4 - 1999).
For a related article in the Global Ideas Bank, see Comeditation - exhaling together with sounds
This webpage forms part of the Global Ideas Bank (www.globalideasbank.org).
Book
Orders: To order any of the Natural Death Centre or
other books that make up the Global Ideas Bank.
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