The previous chapter told how people could organise a funeral themselves. This one is for those who want help from the trade, and is a guide to the best cemeteries, crematoria, funeral suppliers and undertakers - for those who may want just one service from an undertaker, such as a coffin or cold storage facilities, or a complete service, whether an inexpensive basic funeral or a magnificent coffin with glass sided carriage and Friesian horses.
[The 1993 section on awards has been cut. See the Year 2004 award winners .]
For this first edition of the Handbook, the editors had to rely on their own surveys and investigations in determining these awards. For future editions, nominations from readers are invited.
A funeral director helping with his father's funeral
I was sitting on the hospital bed holding my father's hand when he died. I hated the scene but I wouldn't have been anywhere else. Such helplessness and desperation I have never felt at any other time. When he died, we wept.
Two men came with a cot - men I had never seen before. They didn't know me or my profession. My emotion didn't leave room for explanations, so I simply asked them to stand aside. It was my dad and I would do it. Hesitatingly they obliged, while I took the cover from the cot, positioned the cot and gathered Dad's limp body into my arms. It was my job. I was his son. It was our love.
I felt a sense of desertion as I watched those two strangers disappear down the hall with dad. Dad didn't know them.
One of my best friends, a funeral director from the next town, came to get Dad and did all the embalming work. I did the rest - the death certificate, the notification of newspapers, cemetery, minister, church, family, friends, neighbours, all the scores of details which accompany the task of being a funeral director.
My family did lots of other things: we tucked Dad in (it's rough but it's real) and closed the casket; we took him to church ourselves. My brother, sister and I carried Dad to his grave, we lowered him into his grave with straps and our own muscle power. We closed the vault and shovelled the dirt ourselves. We closed out his life ourselves.
Later, weeks later, I asked myself: how many sons, daughters, parents and spouses had I delayed the grief work for because I had performed all of the tasks for them, because I, as a functionary, had usurped their role as care-giving family members. How many times had I made decisions for a family without their opinion, because I had assumed 'they couldn't take it?' They have a right to be heard. The focus must be on their needs, reactions and prior experience. Immediately, my role in funeral service shifted to being that of a facilitator and it has remained there.
By Roy and Jane Nichols from 'Death - The Final Stage of Growth' edited by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.
The last chapter dealt with making a coffin. This one, inter alia, tells you how to buy one ready-made - not always an easy purchase (as Jane Spottiswoode discovered). Many funeral directors refuse to sell just a coffin, or do so at grossly inflated prices. No ideal Green coffin is as yet marketed in this country - the nearest is the designer coffin from recycled scrap pallets sold by Vic Fearn Ltd (see East Midlands region listings below) and a plan by Andy Moore of Friends of the Earth and the Community Recycling Network (10-12 Picton Street, Montpelier, Bristol BS6 5QA, tel 0117 9420142), who is interested in developing papier mâché coffins. The Natural Death Centre would like to help make Green coffins the norm. Other countries are further advanced:
[The following 1993 section on cardboard and other coffins is very out of date. For a summary of the more recent position see the Centre's online information on cheap, green, and DIY funerals or place a secure online order for the Natural Death Handbook (4th edition).]
Alexandre Haas, a packaging manufacturer in Lausanne, Switzerland, has produced the Peace Box, a smart self-assembly cardboard coffin, costing about £45. It weighs 12 kilos, can carry 200 kilos, has a liquid-proof insert and resists temperatures from 250 degrees C to minus 180 degrees C. But it is above all kind to the environment, says Haas, 'and it is light, foldable, easily transported and can be slotted together in five minutes'. He is seeking UK distribution, preferably through a funeral director, and only wants to take orders for 1,000 or more - but could refer people wanting just one coffin to sales outlets elsewhere in Europe. (Alexandre Haas, Sondeur Diffusion, CH-1029 Villars-Ste-Croix, Switzerland, tel and fax 010 41 21 634 70 26.)
In the United States and in Canada it is possible to rent a decorous outer coffin for the funeral service, with only the cardboard inner coffin cremated (normally a thin piece of pine or plywood is placed under the deceased to keep the cardboard rigid). For instance, Joanna Moorhead in an interview in the Observer (April 14th '92), spoke with funeral director Kem Timlick who offers Western Rent-A-Casket Ltd, a 'cheap, no frills' service in Vancouver. His funerals cost about a tenth of the average. 'If you want to spend a lot of money remembering someone who's died, donate money to crippled children or heart-disease research.'
Alexandre Haas (above) has a 'patented ground mechanical opening system for a luxury over-coffin' (perhaps a variant of the idea on page 136) and M. G. von Bratt has written to the Natural Death Centre from New Zealand saying that he has patents for the UK, USA and other countries on a disposable cardboard coffin with a re-usable outer core:
The cardboard coffin costs $30 to produce in New Zealand in numbers of 25, plus $20 for the 16mm lightweight wooden base board. If these items were produced in quantity the prices would be considerably reduced - almost halved.
Cardboard coffins would be ideal for sea burials as there would be instant water absorption and no buoyancy.
M. G. von Bratt, 24 Claremont Terrace, Otumoetai, Tauranga, New Zealand.
The Natural Death Centre circulated a questionnaire to 2,800 funeral directors in September 1992, and, of the mere 45 (excluding branches of the same firm) who deigned to reply - presumably representing the crème de la crème a total of 29 were prepared to sell just a coffin, without other services, at prices ranging from £45 to £325 for the cheapest fully fitted coffin - with a resultant average price of £115. The 24 who were prepared to sell a coffin without other services and for less than £150 - 0.86% out of the 2,800 funeral directors or 53% of those who replied, depending on how you look at it - are listed regionally later in this chapter (one or two are also listed who are exceptional for other reasons). Probably the best value coffin is that supplied by the funeral director James Gibson of Bolton see North West region below), whose cheapest comes fully fitted with lining and handles for £45, plus a negotiable charge for delivery anywhere in the UK. One person living in the wilds of Scotland (whose need was not urgent) has complained to the Natural Death Centre about very slow processing of her order from James Gibson, so plan well ahead!
Mr Foreman of H. J. Bent & Co (see London region in the Good Funeral Guide section of The Natural Death Handbook) was cagey about giving any prices on our questionnaire form, but when tackled by phone said that he would supply an unfitted chipboard container, which he felt was barely suitable for a funeral, with delivery charges negotiable.
If you are trying to buy a coffin locally and none of the above leads are helping, it may be worth approaching your local pet funeral service (see under 'Pet services' in the Yellow Pages). They do not have the funeral directors to worry about and may be more amenable to the idea of supplying a human-sized coffin. For instance Pets Meadow see under Radlett, East Anglian region) can arrange to have an adult-size coffin delivered anywhere for £80 (they also do reasonably priced caskets for ashes).
However, for the winner of the 1993 Natural Death Handbook Award for the Most Helpful Funeral Suppliers please see the latest edition of The Natural Death Handbook.
Those readers who are so Green that they cannot accept the idea of motor vehicles being used to transport the body could try asking a local church or cemetery if they can lend or rent, with a suitable deposit, a wheel bier. For instance, Manchester Cemetery (see North West region below) do have such wheel biers - they hire them out for use within the grounds for £2-50. More feasible, more expensive and more dashing is to arrange for a horse-drawn hearse. Three firms which offer such vehicles, complete with Friesian horses, are T. Cribb & Sons (from £575 - see London region below), James Gibson (from £450 to £900 - see North West region below, although they can go nationwide) and Peter Taylor (from £500 - see East Anglian region below).
'Do you embalm the deceased as a matter of course or on request?' we asked the funeral directors in our questionnaire. Several firms replied 'Yes, we do embalm as a matter of course,' some adding the proviso 'unless asked not to' - so it is important to make your wishes clear in this regard. The majority claimed only to embalm on request, but often again with provisos such as: 'unless the body is to be exported or conveyed long distance' or 'unless the family wishes to view the body'. One firm wrote: 'We embalm when we consider it necessary for hygienic reasons and for viewing purposes. If there is a risk of infection we will insist on it for our own staff's sake.'
So in celebration of the few independent, cussed, beloved and legendary undertakers left, it seemed worth listening to the story of Tony Brown of Saxmundham. Burial of the Dead, after all, is listed as the last of the Seven Acts of Mercy in Christian belief, on a par with feeding the hungry and comforting distress. What men like him do, because of the way they do it, is as useful as any social work, but largely unacknowledged.
He was an ambulance driver who started 'moonlighting for a funeral director, digging graves at six in the morning before a shift'. He took over an undertaker's business in 1979. 'I did farmwork to keep going. I'd be ploughing and my wife would come and wave from the hedge and leave me her bike and I'd jump on it and go quick.'
But some refinements of the trade he rejected from the start. 'I don't embalm, not unless a body's going abroad. I don't touch the body any more than I need to. I don't do all that arranging of their hair and face-painting and that, and I don't sell people fancy shrouds because I do not class myself as a salesman.
'I do like singing. I sing good and loud. I've done "The Old Rugged Cross" three times this week.'
A funeral director who accepts, even revels in, the individuality of each corpse goes a long way to easing the misery. 'There was an old Romany horseman, the other week. We dressed him up in his black suit and neckerchief, like he always wore, and put his cap on him. And it was just him, old Tinker. You know, I felt like putting a fag in his mouth!
'Everyone ought to go the way they want. That's why I hate these pre-paid funerals and I hate taking money in advance. I'd rather people had insurance in the old way, then it can all be done as a family want. People are always having ideas and saying to me, "Tony, is that silly?" and I always say No. One woman wanted to go in her own Volvo Estate. We got her in. Why not? When I go, I'm going on a horse and cart.'
He is a Methodist, and is shocked by the fact that when people die without any relatives or friends to bury them, the social services merely stipulate that the body be disposed of correctly. 'There's nothing in law saying that anyone's got to say one single word. So I say the prayers. I've taken a whole cremation service. I'm not a preacher, and of course I don't charge anything for it. But you can't just put someone in a hole and walk away.'
Adapted extracts from an article by Libby Purves in Country Living, reprinted in Funeral Service Journal.
It is hard to find an independent undertaker - many of the big firms hide behind the name of the small firm they have taken over, and often it takes some persistence to find this out. But a bigger problem in choosing an undertaker is that in the first shock of a relative dying 97% of people, according to an Office of Fair Trading investigation, sign up with the first undertaker they contact. Arranging a funeral is not like buying any other consumer service, and people need to be aware that this could lay them open to exploitation, even if most undertakers in fact are well-meaning and dedicated people. Our advice is that you get a friend who is not so emotionally involved to phone around for you and to report back to you when an undertaker has been located who meets your criteria.
It is perhaps worth emphasising at this point that although The Natural Death Centre is campaigning for improvements in the funeral trade, and advocates that families organise funerals themselves wherever possible, it acknowledge that funerals in the UK are as cheap or cheaper than most countries in Europe; are cheap compared with what the average family is prepared to spend on a wedding; and are carried out in the main by sensitive professionals doing a difficult and stressful job which most people would not have the courage to do.
For those whose main consideration is price and who want a complete funeral organised for them, the cheapest seem to be offered by those for whom the funeral business is a sideline. For instance, T. Finn in Plymouth see South West region below) is about as unorthodox as you can get. He is a retired insurance agent and ex-Royal Marine. He gets his coffins from James Gibson (see above) and will sell these to local people, or will arrange a very basic funeral for those who don't want d-i-y. He will merely add 10% to the final total for his services. So with £76 for a coffin, £127 for the cremation fee, £57 for the medical fees, £50 for the estate car, the total with his percentage would come to about £340, plus about £77 for catering, coffin carrying, flowers etc, if desired. And at a simple £10 per hour rate he can also help with wills, probate, etc. Please let the Natural Death Centre know how you find his services if you use them, as the Centre relies on such information to monitor those it publicises. W. Parsons, a spokesman for the National Association of Funeral Directors, comments: 'Suffice it to say that Mr Finn and I have met and his knowledge of funerals and funeral procedures or paperwork was decidely limited. I would strongly recommend that any family interested in his scheme obtain a detailed estimate in writing before giving him the go-ahead.'
All members of the National Association of Funeral Directors are supposed to offer a basic funeral, but this needs asking for by name. In response to our questionnaire, several neglected or refused to fill in the questions asking prices, but for those who were willing to state them publicly, a basic funeral costs from £463 to £887, with an average of £668. (This includes our notional allowance of £213 for the extras, the so-called 'disbursements' paid out for the client by the undertaker: the cremation fee, doctors' fee and minister's fee). Rule 15 of the National Association of Funeral Directors' Code of Practice, states that even this basic funeral price should be reduced still further if certain services such as bearers are not required. In fact eight funeral directors told us that they would make no such reductions, and six of these eight claimed to be members of the Association.
Some of the cheapest funerals go by names that seem designed to put the customer off from asking for them. For instance, Rowland Brothers of Croydon see South region) offer what they term a 'disposal service' for £295 (crematorium and doctors' fees extra), which turns out to be a perfectly respectable funeral complete with hearse and coffin.
If you are genuinely hard-up, many undertakers are kind hearted enough to make allowances and will not turn you away. One of our contacts offered an undertaker £400 cash on the spot (the most he could afford) for a £795 funeral and was accepted. The highly commendable and distinctive Islamic funeral service offered by Haji Taslim see London region below), based at the East London Mosque and aimed primarily at the Muslim community, offers free burial to the indigent, besides being prepared to give cheap or free help of various kinds to those planning their own funeral.
It is also worth phoning your local council's cemeteries department, who might be well informed (eg for Brent, this would mean looking under 'B' for Brent and then under 'Cemeteries' within the list of Brent's services) and asking if the council has made a special agreement to provide cheaper basic funerals for residents (note that the requirement is normally that the deceased should have lived in the borough, not the person organising the funeral, but check this). In London the Co-op Funeral Service has for several years provided a not-so-cheap basic funeral for certain boroughs: the CWS Co-op does one for residents of Southwark, Lewisham, Lambeth and Camden (tel 020 8317 7317 for details; or the local council); the CRS Co-op for residents of Islington (tel 020 7 607 2828), Hounslow (tel 020 8570 4741) and Haringey (tel 020 8808 3837) - or try the local councils for details of these too. The cost excluding disbursements for the CRS funerals is about £400, for the CWS ones from £460 (Lambeth) to £570 (Lewisham). In Wigan see North West region below) the borough council uses the services of two local funeral directors to offer cremation for £465 and burial for £469 (both all-inclusive prices), which is as cheap as any we found offered privately nationwide. A similar slightly more expensive service is offered by the St Helens and Bolton council (see North West region, under Bolton).
There is scope for religious and neighbourhood groups of one sort or another in the UK to help each other with the funeral arrangements, just as within some Jewish communities it is considered an honour to be of service to the deceased in this way. Neighbours could help each other with advice, with transport, by providing bearers, by helping with the making of coffins or even by buying a plot of land for a wildlife cemetery (besides of course helping before death with caring for the dying at home, and after the funeral with reintegrating the bereaved into the life of the neighbourhood). In the United States, communities in many local areas over the last fifty years have formed their own Memorial Societies (some 150 to date) which use the power of their membership numbers to make agreements with particular undertakers for cheaper than normal services (society members tend to pay less than a fifth the average cost of an American funeral). A lifetime fee of some $25 is charged, many of the staff are volunteers, and some of the societies offer workshops and meetings and informative leaflets and advice. People who join fill in a pre-arrangement form indicating their detailed funeral preferences. Anyone contemplating forming a similar society in the UK - a project which The Natural Death Centre would be happy to help publicise - will find useful their $10 handbook for Funeral and Memorial Societies; this is available from the Continental Association, 6900 Lost Lake Road, Egg Harbor, WI 54209-9231, USA (tel 0101 414 868 3136).
Free funerals are available (on claims made before or within three months of the funeral, on Social Security office form SF200), if the relative organising the funeral is on Income Support or Family Credit or Housing Benefit, although that person's money over £500 (£1,000 if sixty or over) will be used towards the costs, and any money in the estate of the deceased will go towards the costs. So in a family of relative poverty it is worth ensuring that the relative who requests the funeral is the poorest one who falls into one of the three above categories. Social Security (see leaflet FB29, a guide to benefits when someone dies) also gives out a Widow's Payment of £1,000 if the husband paid enough National Insurance contributions and was not getting retirement pension, and if the widow is under sixty.
The local authority is obliged (under the Public Health - Control of Disease - Act 1984 Part III Disposal of Dead Bodies Section 46) to organise disposal of a body when no relative is willing to do so. A. C. T. Connolly (of 26 Broadfields Avenue, Winchmore Hill, London N21 1AD) decided to test this Act by refusing to arrange for the disposal of a relative's body (which was in the coroner's mortuary at the local hospital). He resisted ('wrongful') pressure from the registrar of deaths to take various forms before he would register the death. Finally a helpful official in the council's Social Services department agreed to arrange the funeral and to register the death in the name of the council, with the Connolly family reimbursing the council for the £315 cost. The family was notified in advance of the time for the service and the commital at the crematorium. Mr Connolly concludes: 'It is a legally imposed duty on local authorities to carry out this public health function no matter what the financial position of the bereaved might be. Yet very few people indeed know of this local authority option.'
Ernest Morgan quotes a poetic statement by Robert Test in favour of organ donation:
When that happens, do not attempt to install artificial life into my body by the use of a machine and don't call this my deathbed. Let it be called the Bed of Life, and let my body be taken from it to help others lead fuller lives.
Give my sight to the man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby's face or love in the eyes of a woman. Give my heart to the person whose own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain. Give my blood to the teenager who was pulled from the wreckage of his car, so that he may live to see his grandchildren play. Give my kidneys to a person who depends upon a machine to exist from week to week. Take my bones, every muscle, every fibre and nerve in my body and find a way to make a crippled child walk. Explore every corner of my brain. Take my cells, if necessary, and let them grow so that, someday, a speechless boy will shout at the crack of a bat or a deaf girl will hear the sound of rain against her window.
Burn what is left of me and scatter the ashes to the winds to help the flowers grow.
If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weaknesses and all my prejudice against my fellow man. Give my sins to the devil. Give my soul to God.
If, by chance, you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs you. If you do all I have asked, I will live forever.
'Dealing Creatively with Death' by Ernest Morgan.
If you feel the same way as Ernest Morgan and Robert Test, you need to persuade your next of kin (who will have charge of your body after death), to tell your doctor and your hospital ward and to get a donor card from your local health centre, doctor or chemist. Animal Aid (7 Castle St, Tonbridge, Kent TN9 1BH, tel0732 364 546) issues a Humane Research Donor Card which requests that the body be used for medical and scientific research. A card for donating eyes and other organs is also available from the Royal National Institute for the Blind, 224 Great Portland Street, London W1N 6AA (tel 020 7 388 1266); and a DHSS-printed all-organ donor card can be got from the British Heart Foundation, Distribution Dept, 14 Fitzhardinge St, London W1H 4DH (tel 020 7 935 0185). The cornea of the eyes is the only part that can wait up to 12 hours for removal; the rest have to be removed within half an hour of death.
It is not possible to guarantee a free disposal of your body by leaving it for dissection by medical students. Only a percentage is accepted. Medical schools generally accept only bodies that are unautopsied after death, non-cancerous, relatively whole and within easy range of the school. Dr David Delvin wrongly claimed in the Independent recently that the bodies of paupers are still sometimes used for dissection purposes - although this is a fear that has haunted the poor ever since the 1832 Anatomy Act (as described by Ruth Richardson in her book 'Death, Dissection and the Destitute' published by Pelican, 1989). To offer to donate your body, contact the professor of anatomy at your local medical hospital or HM Inspector of Anatomy, Department of Health, Wellington House, 133-155 Waterloo Road, London SE1 8UG (tel 020 7 972 4342); or for those in the London area, contact the London Anatomy Office, all hours, on 020 7 387 7850 or 020 7 741 2198.
It has been estimated that the pre-paid funeral market could become as big a business in the UK as in the United States, where about three quarters of all funerals are paid for before death. The advantages claimed include that: people planning in advance tend to choose simple funerals; it allows for leisurely comparison shopping; in some of the plans you are protected against inflationary price rises; relatives do not suddenly face a big bill at a time of stress; it provides peace of mind for those elderly with no relatives; and it would reduce your capital and thus perhaps entitle you to social security benefits you might not otherwise have received.
In our view, the advantages of some of the schemes could be outweighed by the potential disadvantages: pre-paid funerals militate against family participation - what if your family decide that they want to make your coffin or to look after your funeral arrangements? Many of the schemes tend to favour the big chains with their assembly-line funerals and to drive the smaller firms to the wall. They encourage TV advertising and other heavy marketing ploys. And there is at least one horror story in the United States where the money was simply pocketed, and the pre-paid cremation bodies were stacked in the basement of the mortuary, with others buried in mass graves.
A first step is to consider questions such as: what happens if you do not need a funeral in the UK after all, for instance if you die abroad or if your ship sinks at sea? What happens if you die before completing payments? What happens if you need that capital sum in an emergency? Would you not have done better to put the money into a form of investment that you could recover? What happens if the trust or foundation backing your pre-paid scheme goes bust? What if whoever attends your dying is not aware of your pre-paid arrangement? If you want such an arrangement, would it not be more interesting to discuss your funeral wishes with your most trusted next-of-kin and to pay money into an account or investment controlled jointly by them? Or, probably a less financially attractive option, to put regular premiums into a funeral insurance scheme (or to top up your life insurance) which would pay a lump sum to your relatives on your death, leaving your relatives with more freedom of action? Sun Alliance tel 01800 27 21 27), for instance, offers a funeral insurance scheme whereby a 70 year old male, whatever his state of health, pays £17 a month for life, and during the first two years this money is paid back on death plus half as much again; thereafter it pays out £1635 on death. The Independent Order of Odd Fellows tel 0161 832 9361) offers a whole life insurance, without medical examination, for people aged 50 to 85, whereby a 70 year old can pay £100 per annum with a guaranteed £884 paid out at death. Other such firms with their own schemes include Ambassador Life (tel 01800 262422), CIS (tel 0141 332 6531), the Ideal Benefit Society (tel 0121 449 4101) and the Tunbridge Wells Friendly Society (tel 01892 515353). An interesting variant is Rest Assured of Funeral Payment Cover Ltd (tel 01785 40000 to find out participating funeral directors in your area) where a 70 year old, after three medical questions, could pay £114 per annum for ten years for a guaranteed funeral costing £750 at today's prices and booked in advance with a particular undertaker, with the deceased's estate getting any surplus bonus if there is one. Also offered is the Omega plan, designed in part for those who are terminally ill.
Nevertheless, if your circumstances are such that one of the more high profile pre-paid plans seems desirable, try to find a scheme which, as well as satisfactorily answering the above questions, is mainly for small independent firms; places at least 90% of the pre-paid funds in trust; will not add extras when the time comes; allows a wide range of choice if you move to another part of the country; allows for no-questions-asked cancellation with refund of money and interest (less any small administration fees); and returns any unspent money and interest after the funeral. You will not be able to find such a scheme as yet in the UK (although the last two points are required by law in some American states).
Possibly least objectionable at present is the Golden Charter, since it is specifically designed for the small, independent funeral directors and their association SAIF, the Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors (a splinter group within the NAFD). Indeed the 'Which?' recommended Best Buy in February 1992 for those wanting a simple funeral was the Golden Charter Standard (tel 01800 833800) at £775 including all cremation funeral costs (to which additional paid-for elements can be added).
The next best is probably the Perfect Assurance Funeral Trust run by the National Association of Funeral Directors (NAFD - for details of your local participants, tel 0121 709 0019), which offers no standard plans but allows you to choose any firm, small or large, that offers the scheme and to tailor-make a plan to your requirements. The firm then pays the money into the presumed safety of the Perfect Assurance trust fund.
The market leader and the first to advertise on TV has been Chosen Heritage tel 01800 525555), whose cheapest Simplicity Plan funeral costs £750 (disbursements included). If the person dies abroad or ends up not needing their funeral, relatives are refunded. 100% of the funds is claimed to go into the trust fund. Chosen Heritage allows cancellations at any time, minus interest and a £55 fee. There are no extras. It does have a 'personal choice' option for those wanting a non-standard package. The snag is that 146 of its (claimed) 500 funeral directors are part of the Great Southern Group, and such huge chains are in our view to be discouraged.
There is an enormous gulf between Chosen Heritage's price and the cheapest plan offered by the Co-op's CRS division (Lyn Buckley, tel 01244 341135), whose Caring Covenant Funeral Plan costs £815 with no disbursements paid (so probably leading to a final bill of well over £1,000); in addition cancellations are allowed only at their discretion, subject to loss of interest and a fee of about 5%.
The Co-op's CWS division (tel 01800 289120) offers the Co-operative Funeral Bond where the Earl cremation plan (including disbursements) costs £839. One unusual feature of this plan is that it allows two people to be named on the form and the plan can eventually pay for either of them.
The scheme Dignity in Destiny tel 01800 269318) is almost completely tied to the big chain Plantsbrook, using independent funeral directors only in those places where it has no coverage itself. Its equivalent cheapest funeral costs £850. It only allows cancellations at its discretion and charges a £50 fee. Less than 100% of the funds goes to the trust fund - a variable amount is paid in, whatever Price Waterhouse advises, but 'Yes, less than 90%.'
Perhaps the ideal crematorium would be a building designed to allow the mourners to gather round a high tech version of a funeral pyre. Tony Walter in 'Funerals and How to Improve Them' has suggested a number of slightly less radical design improvements: a coffin visible and central and near floor level throughout the service, which can be touched, kissed, circled round or filed past; a building in which the coffin can be moved by the mourners, possibly by being lowered down under the floor; and a building as beautiful and significant as a church, so that the local community will want it for births and marriages too, which is close to the elements - surrounded by forest and wildlife, rather than manicured lawns and regimented rows of rosebushes.
A wonderful sounding new crematorium is being planned with the above design suggestions in mind by Deborah Hinton, for woodland that she owns near Basingstoke (see Southern region below). A £1.5m investment is planned and it should open in 1994. Hinton is also determined that the crematorium should be welcoming to all, whether using undertakers or not, and irrespective of the body container used.
Of the 52 respondents to our survey of crematoria nationwide, only 21% claimed anything more unusual in the way of grounds than 'formal gardens'. 92% would allow a few mourners to witness the coffin entering the cremator, often with the proviso that this should be 'by prior arrangement' (in Newcastle-under-Lyme Crematorium up to 60 people can watch). 60% would allow the mourners to move the coffin to the cremator. And one - Stockport Crematorium - see North West region below - would even permit one mourner to 'charge' the coffin into the cremator. 12% had the more participatory 'half-moon' seating, rather than 'audience facing the front' style - or were prepared to allow seating to be moved to achieve this effect.
Another off-putting aspect of crematoria is the factory conveyor belt sense of: In - 30 minutes - Out - Next. Some crematoria, again highlighted in our regional listings below, are good at providing either extra long services (Brighton crematorium, for instance, allows 45 minutes, see South region) or cheaper additional sessions (Brighton can give extra time free if available).
Contrary to myth, crematoria do burn all the coffins (which is a pity, we feel that they should be re-used), and the ashes you get back will be the right ones.
Most crematoria are run by local authorities and have very reasonable fees (although these fees are having to be increased in many places so as to finance the cost of new facilities that will meet stringent EC anti-pollution requirements. This will cost the average crematorium at least half a million pounds and as a result some of the local authority ones are begining to sell out to the larger private firms). At present the cheapest one that met our other criteria for inclusion was Putney Vale Crematorium (£83 for 20 minutes - see London region below). The most expensive was Weymouth Crematorium (at £178 for 30 minutes - see South West region below).
Our questionnaire was circulated to all 226 or so crematoria in the country. Our main interest lay in finding out how helpful they were to people organising a funeral without using an undertaker. Of the 52 who replied, a very stuffy four (ie eight% of those who bothered to reply) said that they would deal only with undertakers, not with the family direct. An equally terrible ten (ie 19%) said they would not accept a home-made coffin even if it met all the anti-pollution requirements and if everything were done 'in a dignified manner without disturbance to other mourners or to staff'. These have been excluded from our selective listings below. Only eight crematoria (ie 15%) were prepared to go much further and to accept not only a home-made coffin but also our suggestion of a 'rigid container as long as it is draped with a cloth'. or 'an alternative container, ie a heavy carboard box supported on a piece of pine or plywood and covered with a drape.' These are detailed in the listings. But only three (ie 6%) - Mid-Warwickshire Crematorium (see Leamington Spa, East Midlands region), Carlisle Crematorium (see North West region) and Worthing Crematorium (see South region) - were willing to take simply a 'body bag suitable for cremation, again supported on a piece of pine or plywood and covered with a drape'.
The following is the full set of questions and answers given by Mr D. H. Thompson, the manager of the Mid-Warwickshire Crematorium address under East Midlands region, below) winner of the Natural Death Handbook award for the Most Helpful Crematorium. You can use these questions to select the ones which are relevant to your own situation when approaching your local crematoria, and so that you can evaluate the extent to which your local findings match the high standards set by our winner:
What is your parent organisation if any? Warwick District Council.
How much time is allotted for each funeral service? 30 minutes.
Can extra time be paid for? Yes.
If so, at what cost per minute? £16 per 30 minutes.
What are your minimum charges for a simple service and cremation? £95 (resident), £118-75 (non-resident).
How much does a casket for cremated remains cost? £7 (wooden), polytainer free.
What is your estimated delivery charge for cremated remains in the UK:
- by next day courier delivery? £19.
What is your storage charge for cremated remains? None.
Can payments be on account? Yes, in 30 days.
Provided the paperwork is correctly done, and any pacemaker has been removed, will you accept a body directly from the family (no funeral director)? Yes
Is a home made coffin acceptable? Yes.
Is a rigid container acceptable, as long as it is draped with a cloth? Yes.
Is a heavy cardboard box supported on a piece of pine or plywood and covered with a drape acceptable? Yes.
Is a body bag suitable for cremation acceptable, supported on a piece of wood and covered with a drape? Yes.
Can the seating be in the round or horse-shoe shaped? Our seating is half-moon in shape.
Can the seating be rearranged? No.
Can the coffin be easily seen by all the mourners throughout the service? Yes.
Does the set-up allow for some mourners to gather around the coffin in a circle at a point in the service? Yes.
Is the coffin close to floor level during the service (ie can mourners easily see into the coffin or touch the coffin if they so wish)? No.
Can mourners easily file closely past the coffin as they enter or exit, if they so wish? As they exit they can file past.
Does the coffin go directly to the cremator after the service? Yes, but if all three cremators are in use it would have to wait, but normally we have one available if notified in advance that immediate cremation is required.
Can mourners view the coffin entering the cremator? Yes.
If they so wish, can a few mourners help move the coffin to the cremator at the end of the service? Yes - but not into it. They damaged the cremator last time!
How would you describe the immediate surroundings of the crematorium? Informal woodland.
How would you describe the architecture and feel of the crematorium building and interior? Modern.
In what ways do you feel that your crematorium excels, either in terms of its services, prices, attitudes, practices, architecture or surroundings? Our crematorium must be one of the most flexible and helpful crematoria in the UK. The atmosphere is extremely peaceful and the woodland is home to many forms of wildlife. We do not have memorials and there is no 'commercialism'.
Does your cemetery have chapel facilities? Yes.
How long is allotted for each funeral service? There is no time limit.
How much does a plot cost? £159.
How long do grave rights last? 50 years.
Simple service and burial? &<163;130 (£142-50 for non-residents)
Maintenance of plot? There is no charge for this.
How is payment made (in advance, on account in X days, by credit card, etc)? In advance.
Provided the paperwork is correctly done, will you accept a body directly from the family? Yes.
Which of the following types of body container are acceptable?
Home-made coffin? Yes, if made of natural materials.
Body bag or shroud? Yes, if made of natural materials.
Body bag with rigid support? Yes.
Heavy cardboard box supported on pine or ply? Yes.
Other (please specify)? Basket (wicker), etc.
Can chapel seating be rearranged, eg into a circle or horseshoe? No.
Can the coffin be seen by mourners during the service? Yes.
If they so wish, can mourners help move the coffin towards its final resting place? Yes.
Is a memorial allowed, optional or mandatory? Allowed and optional.
What requirements do you have for a memorial? Any choice of vase or headstone, etc, up to 3' high and 3' 6" wide.
What are the surroundings like? It is a very large formal cemetery, Victorian in appearance and very attractive with parkland trees and fine memorials. Wildlife includes occasional deer, red squirrels, etc. Herons nest annually.
What is the architecture of the chapel? Churchlike, Victorian Gothic.
What does your cemetery offer to help make each service as individual as possible? Open communication channels, few restrictions and ample time.
How do you feel that your cemetery excels, either in terms of its service, prices, attitudes, practices, architecture or surroundings? All Carlisle cemeteries are considered well maintained and spiritually uplifting. Our management attitude is flexible and orientated to satisfying people using our services, not placing restrictions in their way.
Contrast this approach with the Southern Cemetery in Manchester which has a rule booklet of 56 pages. Articles it prohibits on graves include wooden crosses ('except those supplied by the city council'), sea shells, rockery and other stones. Those bringing the coffin to the cemetery in other than a funeral director's hearse must transfer it at the entrance gate to a wheeled bier. Not unreasonably, it also wants to be notified if the coffin size will exceed 6' 4" by 22" width, 15" depth (the width measurement must allow for any protruding handles. 'It is difficult and may be dangerous to alter the width of the grave once it has been excavated'). There are occasional stories in the various funeral journals of the embarrassment felt by funeral directors and priests when the coffin will not fit the grave.
Another strong runner-up to Carlisle Cemetery for our award is the Mold Cemetery in Clywd (see Wales region). Not only is it the cheapest (£90 includes the plot, the digging, the burial and the minister) but it also sounds one of the friendliest. Tony Davies writes: 'We live within the cemetery confines and people are able to discuss their grief at any time of the day and night. We have lived here for 16 years. We listen to people and have real feeling and empathy for them. It can be easier for people to talk to a stranger and express their feelings more fully than they would to their own families. We find once the inital grief is overcome we become firm friends. Death is a natural thing which causes grief to everyone concerned. It is terrible to see people suffering grief but it is such a wonderful thing to see life once again taking over and smiles and laughter returning.'
Just as house prices vary by region, so too do the rights to a burial plot - from £85 at Mold Cemetery to £2,200 at Highgate Cemetery (see London region). The average plot price nationwide (for those who met our home-made coffin criteria) was £291 (for an average of 72 years). However the price within a cemetery could vary widely too: Southern Cemetery in Manchester's cheapest plot was £190, its most expensive £2,315. Some also charge non-residents either extra or double the price; or, in the case of East Sheen and its associated cemeteries, three times the price.
Remember to insist, if buying burial rights, that ownership is put in the name of the surviving partner, to ensure their eventual right to be buried together.
As well as the plot, there is also the cost of digging the grave and the burial. The range here was from £5, again at Mold Cemetery, to £510 at Highgate Cemetery, with an average of £183. Maintenance was normally either not charged or optional, with prices ranging from £15 per annum to £82 per annum at Woking Cemetery. Woking (see South region) is, incidentally, another example of a cemetery with a pleasantly liberal and enlightened approach to memorials, with virtually any design accepted.
[All the section that followed from the 1993 edition has been cut as it is misleadingly out of date. If you wish, you may place a secure online order for the latest edition of the Natural Death Handbook.]
For further information, please see The Natural Death Handbook, latest edition.
The Natural Death Centre, 6 Blackstock Mews, Blackstock Road, London N4 2BT (Tel. 0871 288 2098).
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