Adapted extracts from a letter to the Natural Death Centre by Maggie of Cambridge.
I feel much happier now I have the Living Will from the Natural Death Centre.
A friend of mine has a mother of 92 years who, until recently, managed a coal fire and a climb up the stairs to the loo. She began to need a walking stick and to lose some weight and sleep a lot. I would have thought this quite normal at such an age and an indication that she was approaching a natural death.
But she was sent to Addenbrookes Hospital where no less than two blood tests were taken. Then the following day she was found in a collapsed state.
I am not at all surprised. The old lady suffered from shock. I am not medically trained, but I cared for my mother with Parkinson's Disease for 30 years and I think I acquired a degree of common sense which seems to be lacking now.
Solely because of the tests, the poor lady has lost her independence and the daughter has moved in. After two weeks, the old lady was put into a home for respite care by the daughter.
I feel the family of the lovely lady should simply have told her that it was OK to sleep a lot and they should just have been prepared for her death. She was even managing to cook her own meals at the time. Now, due to putting her through the ordeal of the hospital appointment, she has lost her dignity.
Society these days is obsessed with sex and talks constantly about it, but death, also a quite natural thing, is not discussed as it should be.
I want to ensure that I have no feeding tubes etc at my death. I feel it makes it easier for the family. I don't want to suffer unnecessary pain. I had a friend die from cancer at only 45 years but she had diamorphine and we often went for walks. She never appeared to be in any pain despite the fact that the cancer was all over her and she was very thin although eating a lot. She was getting ready for a holiday that very weekend. She had breathing difficulties on the Thursday and was given an oxygen cylinder to take home and told me that due to the cancelled holiday the family would be going out for day trips instead, so she would take her oxygen with her. She lived right up until the day before she died when she became bedridden. The diamorphine enabled her to do this. So I am in favour of pain relief.
The Living Will is available as part of a set of forms for a £5 minimum donation per set from the Natural Death Centre, 6 Blackstock Mews, Blackstock Road, London N4 2BT (tel 0871 288 2098; fax 020 7354 3831; e-mail: rhino@dial.pipex.com; web: www.naturaldeath.org.uk).
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